2013: A Clog

Tomorrow is 2014.

365 days ago, I was on a NYE hike up Echo Mountain, overlooking the greater city into the new year with high hopes for the uncertain days ahead.

A year later today, I sit here at my work desk in an almost empty office and have little to say about 2013— not to say it was bad in any way. The past year was goood for my soul. It was stretched, twisted, numbed and reshaped to its original form all at once; my heart. 

This year was also the least I ever journal-ed or blogged. Hence my title, A Clog. I feel it in me. I know all the thoughts that took residence in the entirety of 2013 and all the profound, deep quotes I could have written of this grand ol' life of mine. It should have been blogged out for my peace of mind. But alas, no evidence. The disconnect from there to here is a giant clog of internal sh!t and the struggle is real my friends! (Pretty much just Saehoon, Will & Cadengo-- hi friends.)

But really, the struggle is so very real. I got straight up dominated by my newest friend, Eczema, along with the company of old ones-- Cold Sore, Ulcer & Chan Hos—  all by the stressors of killjoy. Whatever it was, I never felt like I had to fight so hard for my joy, inside and out. I forget life before all these scars and scratches on my neck and stomach. Yet in the bigger scheme of things, the joy I gained through & through have never been this satisfying & this constant. 

Joy is above my circumstances. 

And circumstantial joy is but happiness. 

"2 ...Remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. 3 And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. 4 Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years.  

5 Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you. 6 So you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him.7 For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land..." (Deuteronomy 8:2-7) 

Do not be so quick to forget, Estefania.

To the good land we go-- goodbye to one, hello to tomorrow.

Humbly & Simply Put

This email keeps speaking life into my heart. For 2013, I decided to commit my selfish singlehood to become a season of selflessness. Mind shift— Singlehood is the only season I have to offer all of my time, energy, resources & presence to others. (How long this season should last is yet another wonder.)

Reading this email humbly put me in place. Nothing I do is ever in vain or even for any gain. When I commit to greater things than myself, God uses me; not as a do-er of good works, but as a witness to His works. 

My hands and feet are for His kingdom- Today I am grateful for witnesses. We all have the power to speak life to those around us.

Thank you, MW.

Scatterbrainiac

I scrolled down through my previous posts and noticed that the word "digress" has made repeated cameos. I personally do not like overkills, so it made me cringe a bit.

Digress, digress, digress.

Why do I digress so much?

How come our my social attention span is that of a 3 year old going through the early stages of brain development?

When does multi-tasking become destructive rather than productive?
Is it ever productive?
I am a self-renowned multi-tasker.
Does this make me unproductive?

Someone needs to filter my internal hard drive.
My Blogspot & all its unpublished posts.

My scatterbrain-
digressing again
and again
& again.

On-The-Go

I have once again neglected this blog for a period of too long. (surprise, surprise)

I spend less time on my laptop nowadays which is hardly a bad thing. But in the midst of my days and wanting to scream my momentary diarrhea flashes of words on top of words, by the time I actually open up my MacBook and click on Google Chrome, they are all but present in my mind.

This may be a result of my 4-month inauguration as a new iPhone user. I drafted an ode to my late-BlackBerry Style named Neo after my crossover, but that never got posted either. With that, the iPhone was a bit of a disappointment and not as life-changing as I had expected it to be, which made my separation from my BlackBerry flip that much more (de)pressing. [Insert "first world problems" hashtag here]

I digress.

Anyway, the purpose of this post and my subtle return to Blogspot is, ironically, all thanks to my iPhone 5; for the extensive world of worldly apps that gives me access to everything I (n)ever really need in life.

So, goodbye BlackBerry. When you return with an HD camera, we will reunite again. Until then, I am blogging on-the-go; toilet, traffic, cubicle & all.



Hi Saehoon & Cadengo.

I lied. The iPhone did change my life.