ggpwn3d #10- Omniscient is He

Hm,

not sure how to explain this vague thought.

During Hillside worship's response song/prayer time, Pastor Sam opens up the altar for those who are in need/want of prayer by him and Pastor Joey (our Hispanic pastor of King's Table). Being overly burdened these days from my sinful self, I forced myself up there and stayed crouched over for the whole song.

In my muddled thoughts, I managed to get in a few words of genuine plea to God. But I knew I was holding back. There was an impasse in my heart & my mind that was clearly redirecting my inmost desires; kinda like indigestion, but not. 

So there I was— on the floor, seeking internally, but struggling externally. Oh, the flesh.

As the song ended, Pastor Sam was in his benediction prayer when Pastor Joey put his hand upon my head and started praying for me. I will not repeat his prayer, but some key words he said were: memories, healing, battle.

I was blown- literally floored to the ground because his prayer was exactly the cry of my heart. How did he know? Srsly, it was quite a 'wtf' moment. (ughs + sighahh, in one) But really, this past week, I was brought back to something that I brushed under the rug very many years ago. Something that I never fully healed from, but forced myself to live past because He restores me, right? Something that I had never shared with a single soul except God. But when Pastor Joey prayed over me, God gave him those exact words because He knew that I was not able to say them from my own mouth. 

It broke me entirely because that is who God is. He knows my heart, my every thought, my deepest wants. It humbles me that even in my sinfulness, He still loves me so. He still wants my all; the all that I fail to give him. Yet he still pursues after me......... 

White flag,
I surrender.

Before a word is on my tongue
 you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain...

Psalm 139:4-6