Tuesday, January 7, 2014

2014: In Pursuit

I am not one for making resolutions-- resolutions that go missing and forgotten as the new year hurrah crumbles then fades into an abyss of b l a h.

In lieu of such sorrowful traps, I started characterizing my years with a word that I wanted to pray over my life.

2012 was a year of settlement.
2013 was a year of joy.
2014 will be a year of love.

Now, this is a scary way to live out your year or so I have learned in pattern. In 2012, I became funemployed late September and had no idea where the year would end. And as mentioned in my last post, I never felt like I had to fight so hard for joy as I did in 2013. So what am I really getting myself into this year of 2014 as I pray for love in my life?

Before you go on to think that I am sulking in my singlehood and seeking to find Mr. Right during this fateful year, stop right theeeere. What I mean when I pray for such bold things as love is that I pray for the pursuit of love. I read this post on Desiring God and for the last few days of 2013, I let the idea marinate in my mind: make 2014 a year where I pursue love with more intentionality than I ever have before

I pray for my fickle heart that fears to mutter the word in hesitation of discomfort; I pray for this prideful being within me that fails to express it in my coldness; I pray for my inward & outward character to be covered by a grace that has set my heart to love so freely; and I pray that all this stems from my growing knowledge of the gospel that saves me from myself.

And as I reflect on how the last two years had ended, I remember that in December 2012, I started the job that I am still currently working at and also received a $500 check to use on myself from an anonymous giver; in 2013, Red Thread, King's Table Men's Home & Breaking Bread Homeless Ministry were yearlong projects that allowed me to exercise my joy in offering and in return, got more blessings than I could have ever asked for. Sighahh.

So I brace myself this new year and take a step forward with my eyes closed to dabble in this thing called love— to always remember & never forget our God who has pursued my heart relentlessly through my wilderness years until now.

1 comment: